"Unto Whom Much is Given" . . . Shadow Leadership

Today while I was running I thought back to my Canada Winnipeg Mission. My 2nd to last Zone conference had just ended and some of us missionaries were visiting outside of the church building. Suddenly we heard tires squealing from intense breaking, we spun around just in time to catch what appeared to be a blanket flying through the air and papers seeming to explode from the blanket. Then someone said, "Someone’s been hit!" We ran over and found an unknown Elder with his suit jacket flipped over his head as he lay on the ground. We helped him free his head from his jacket and he kept lifting his head and dropping it on the pavement. I ran back to my car and popped the trunk and grabbed our emergency blankets to put under his head. His arms were flailing as he seemed to be reaching for comfort and to be assured that everything was going to be ok. I reached for his hand and held it firm, squeezing it periodically to keep his focus. This was before cell phones and some one had already run into the church to call 911 (an Elder had to shove a sister off the phone because he didn't have time to explain the urgency). I now started checking out this Elder to see what the damage was . . . oh man, how is his knee aimed to the left while his foot is aimed to the right? That must be broken, I looked at his pant leg and there was no blood dripping from it - "Did you guys give him a blessing yet?" Yep, it came from a sister. Here we were, some 20+ missionaries constantly teaching of the priesthood and in the panic of a car accident none of us were composed enough to initiate a priesthood blessing.

My former MTC companion whom I had always detested as our personalities always conflicted took what I thought was the easy route, he administered the anointing of this Elder. When he had completed the anointing I looked up and saw the man that I always had looked up to and admired . . . my Mission President - President Christensen. I moved to give him room to seal the blessing as I looked upon him with eyes of admiration knowing if ever there was a man that could exercise his priesthood and administer to an accident victim and make him whole, it was President Christensen.

"Go ahead Elder Brown." I had not expected President Christensen to defer the sealing of the anointing to me . . . in fact I felt that since I didn't have good feelings towards the person that had just anointed that I should excuse myself . . . but here was a suffering child of God waiting for a blessing!! I silently made amends for my failure to forgive my MTC companion and to hold him blameless for my antagonistic feelings I had every time he came around - the failure was on my part and I made this my responsibility to resolve and did so in a moment. My hands were now on the Elders head along with my MTC companion and my Mission President. A blessing was pronounced. Afterwards I continued to hold this injured Elders hand until the paramedics showed up.

A few days later I visited the Elder in the hospital. He had two bones broken in his leg that required a 6 inch incision for the plate now securely screwed in place. He was released from the hospital the same time that we were to have regular transfers. He became my last companion as I was about to culminate two years of service.

In the last month, I washed his wound and dressed it 2-3 times a day as he currently wasn't able to keep it free of infection. Soon the infection was gone and it was showing a nice pink as it quickly healed. We baptized a mother and daughter that month - political refugees that had sought refuge by immigrating to Canada. We had choice experiences as I catered to his needs but ultimately as we taught this family on the second floor of the apartments, he had to hop up the flight of stairs to be with them and teach.

I look back and I think of President Christensen, why hadn't he led? How did he know that the little kid that I was, needed the purifying realization that my harbored feelings towards my MTC companion needed to be detoxified? How did he know that I needed to pronounce this blessing upon this Elder to have my faith and understanding expanded? I don't think he did know, I think that he was expert in practicing shadow leadership. He allowed me, the untrained, and the inexperienced, to feel the gravity of that situation and to have the chance to grow from it as I exercised the priesthood.

I learned plenty from President Christensen. He had shared the story of his daughter and her near death as he was a young father and the faith that he exercised in asking Heavenly Father for her to live. Not even 2 years later I would hold my own firstborn's lifeless body and with President Christensen's pattern before me I would exercise my faith and my priesthood in asking Heavenly Father to give my infant son life and to allow him to stay on this Earth in our family. We still had to perform CPR, suck fluid out of his lungs; but life was given to our son who is now 17 years old.

Thanks to all of you who practice shadow leadership - to allow people like me to benefit from real life experiences as we struggle to grow and understand the things that will bring us happiness.

Andrew "Been-In-Many-Great-Shadows" Brown